Creating an Escape While Needing One Myself

When people see me at one of our events, they usually see someone who’s constantly moving.

Maybe I’m hosting Music Bingo and keeping the room laughing between songs. Maybe I’m welcoming guests to one of our themed parties. Maybe I’m running around making sure every detail of an event comes together exactly the way we envisioned it. Maybe I’m behind the scenes, answering emails, building marketing campaigns, writing social media posts, or planning what’s next for Crit & Ale.

What they don’t see is everything that sometimes has to happen before I ever get there.

This past year has been one of the most difficult of my life.

Back in 2024 I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis, a chronic autoimmune disease that not only causes my immune system to attack my own digestive system but also both directly and indirectly causes many other systemic issues . Unfortunately there isn’t a simple cure for this and I will have to keep managing this for the rest of my life. There are periods where life feels almost normal (though admittedly these have been far and few between lately), followed by flares that can completely derail everything.

Over the last year alone, I’ve been hospitalized more than eight times because of complications from this disease. Treatment for this chronic condition often involves medications that help resolve the inflammation by turning off the immune system. This means that while treating the chronic issues; often times I’m left susceptible to infections which are hard to treat. Coming off these medications is also hard as the second the immune system recovers and “comes back online” there are temporary (but not easy) symptoms that arise like widespread or traveling joint pain and sometimes, even an immediate relapse of the chronic inflammation that we were treating in the first place.

Since the beginning of the year there have been emergency room visits, countless doctor’s appointments, medications that seemed promising before they stopped working(or started causing even worse side effects than the underlying disease), and more moments of uncertainty than I can count.

One of the hardest parts of living with a chronic illness is that no one else can really see it. Someone might see me smiling while hosting an event, but they don’t see the exhaustion afterward. They don’t see the pain I was masking and trying to ignore, or the anxiety of wondering if my body is going to cooperate long enough to finish the night. They don’t see the fear I have surrounding the possible effects of taking pain medications to help me through the night. NSAIDS (Ex. Advil, Asprin, Naproxin) and other pain relievers are great in small doses but when dealing with chronic pain learning to not rely on them too heavily is a real struggle. These medications; even though are reasonably safe for most people and are available over the counter, also still carry their own risks with long term use. NSAIDS increase bleeding risk and tend to worsen GI issues, while other pain releivers like Tylenol may prevent this, come with the high risk of kidney damage with chronic use.

To be honest, There are days where simply getting out of bed feels like an accomplishment.

Trying to build a small business while navigating all of that can feel overwhelming.

Small businesses don’t really have “sick days.” The work is still there. Clients still need answers. Events still happen. Marketing still needs to be written. Social media doesn’t schedule itself. There is always another idea waiting to be developed and another problem waiting to be solved.

There have been moments where I’ve questioned whether I could keep up.

Thankfully, I haven’t had to answer that question alone.

One of the greatest gifts Crit & Ale has given me isn’t just a career. It’s flexibility and a support system that is unmatched to any other job I have had.

When my health forces me to slow down physically, there is still meaningful work I can do. I can build our Music Bingo playlists. I can develop new weekly programming virtually with the help of my business partners. I can write blog posts like this one which I am currently writing at 3AM as I struggle to sleep due to symptoms of this disease. I can work on our website, marketing, and future events while giving my body the time it needs to recover.

Not every career offers that opportunity, and I never take it for granted.

The creative side of this business has also become one of the healthiest coping mechanisms I’ve ever found. Creativity has a way of pushing everything else into the background.

When I’m designing a new Music Bingo theme, brainstorming our next Saturday event, writing marketing campaigns, or helping bring one of our ideas to life, my illness stops being the center of my attention.

And then there are our murder mysteries.

Watching those nights unfold is something special.

While Mikah deserves the credit for so much of what makes those experiences unforgettable, I still get a front row seat to something incredible. Watching guests completely lose themselves in the story, laugh with strangers, and become characters in a world she’s created is a reminder of why we started Crit & Ale in the first place.

For a few hours, people get to forget about work, stress, bills, or whatever else they’re carrying.

Ironically, I get to do the same. Weather it’s as an actor in the story or just helping behind the scenes; Escapism isn’t just something we create for our guests. It’s something this business has given me.

Living with Ulcerative Colitis has changed the way I think about entertainment. People sometimes describe what we do as “just trivia,” “just karaoke,” or “just a murder mystery.”

I don’t see it that way anymore.

I’ve learned firsthand how valuable a few hours of laughter can be. I know what it feels like to desperately need something that pulls your attention away from pain, even if only for an evening. If our events can give someone that escape, then we’ve accomplished something meaningful.

This journey has also reminded me how incredibly fortunate I am to have the business partners that I do. There have been days where they carried responsibilities I simply couldn’t.

They’ve covered events, picked up extra work, adjusted plans without complaint, and reminded me that Crit & Ale has always been built as a team.

No one succeeds in a small business alone.

I certainly haven’t.

Living with a chronic illness has taught me resilience in ways I never expected.

It has forced me to celebrate the good days instead of taking them for granted.

It has taught me to ask for help without feeling guilty. It has shown me that strength isn’t pretending you’re okay. Sometimes strength is simply adapting, trusting the people around you, and continuing to build something you believe in even when the road gets difficult.

Ulcerative Colitis has taken a lot from me this past year. But it has also given me perspective.

It has made me more grateful for every event we host.

Every packed Music Bingo night.

Every successful themed party.

Every murder mystery where guests leave talking about their favorite moments.

Every opportunity to help create joy for someone else.

And every chance I get to keep doing the work I love.

To everyone who has attended one of our events, supported our business, or simply cheered us on from afar, thank you. You may never realize it, but on some nights, helping create an escape for you became the very thing that helped me find one too.

Michael R. O’Connor

Co-Owner